vita brevis

i watched the beach yesterday for the nth time…for some reason i just love that movie…someday i’m going to that beach in thailand…or i’ll find my own isolated uninhabited beach and build a community just like the one in the movie…and i will only allow special people to live with me…weirdos just like me hehe…good vibes all day and all night! i love the part where richard, francoise and etienne first saw the beach…that scene was just breathtaking! pati ako natutulala eh…ang ganda…if tom hanks was stranded in that island i don’t think he’d ever want to be saved. and it’s nice to imagine living there with only a few people, not minding anything else but just waking up each morning to that view…the blue waters and white sand minus the great white shark (panira yun!) and then the lush green forest where my community is situated…and the tiny huts with hammocks…or maybe just one big hut where everyone sleeps…and the tall coconut trees and exotic flowers…and our little plants that make us happy happy happy every day…just as far away as possible from all that is mundane and chaotic. of course let’s not think about the last part of the movie…stop nalang sa bago iattack ng shark yung swedes. syempre na carried away ako ng pag-iimagine…but wouldn’t it be nice?=)

i also watched little miss sunshine…great movie! at least for me ha…no wonder it made such a buzz…that little girl (abigail breslin?) was good…actually i think the casting was exceptional…from alan arkin who played the heroine sniffing grandpa to steve carell the suicidal gay proust scholar…you gotta have the right mix of actors to play a dysfunctional family and yet make satirical humor work…and it worked. especially since the movie also tackled the issue of beauty pageants for little girls…which made the last part funny hehehe=) all i can say is beauty pageants for little girls are so fucked up.

i got a txt from leah today saying that i’m part of neil’s (her brother) guest list for the wedding in may! i excite!!! i think it’s the first wedding i’ll be attending that’s not family related…but of course leah’s like a sister already…like family…and i’m at their house often hihihi. but still…i love weddings! so i’m anticipating that big day.=)

we’ve already set the date for our mountain climbing in batangas…april 21. magsabi lang ang gusto sumama…basta game.=) excited na kami ni par!!! (stargazing na ba ito??! hahaha)

the past week was great…little things make me happy nowadays…life is so short to not be thankful to Him for every blessing that comes my way…holy week na then finals week…pressure and stress mounts. pero kaya yan! God loves me! weeeee!

it’s march 31, 2007, 3:30 am, and i can’t stop smiling. i just cant stop. alaveeeeeeeeet! hahahaha:) let’s leave it at that. you know you’re the reason why.

last friday we had a surprise despedida/birthday party for dada…she left this morning for japan where she would continue her training with jal…medyo marami rin pumunta nung friday…it was nice seeing our friends again…we also have mica’s victory to be thankful for…she’s now the new college assembly president for cla…yay!

a lot of our friends are employed now…which makes me feel worse…tinatamad na ako!!! seriously! if not for my other friends left in la salle, i wouldn’t have much enthusiasm to go to school every single day…same old same old boring routine…and it doesn’t help when you feel like you’re about to fail a law subject…and the thought of taking it again makes me cringe…i don’t have passion for law…i’m passionate about other things…but not law. then again, if our prof didn’t make it too difficult for us, i could reconsider.

after the party i talked to my friend whom i have missed so much…not seeing him for a month made me cry so bad…for a friendship like ours, it takes a great deal of adjusting…especially since we’ve gone from seeing each other everyday to not knowing when we would see each other next. there are some people who prefer keeping a few really close friends than having a lot of acquaintances…i’m one of them. it’s just so hard…if leah were to pursue her dream of becoming a flight attendant, i know it would be very difficult for me to get used to her not being around…pero tumatanda na eh…even if i wish for myself to find that place second star to the left and straight on till morning, i still have to grow up…we all do. so when my friend said na dada and him were talking about how it’s not that easy to go to our inumans and parties anymore, it just hit me hard…it’s a bit scary to think that our lives are changing now…i hate to imagine that time will come when only three people will come to our weekend sessions…especially since for the past seven months, i have relied on the company of my friends to get me through the most testing times…

after a very challenging friday night for leah and i, she txted me this when she got home: our friendship is an undefinable instinct. a silent signal that lets you know that whatever the changes, whatever happens, i would always be here when i have to be…one way or another.

i’m so blessed to have such great friends.=)

tiring, tiring weekend.

went to hit99.5’s event at nbc tent last friday…multi bands pala…didn’t know it was that big…kala ko maya lang ang tutugtog…ended up backstage after they played kung saan nagkumpulan kami nina joon, gerd, japs, kaye and her friend…at ininom ang beer na ninakaw ni gerd at nilagay sa backpack nya…inabangan rin ang 34th birthday ni rico…pinanuod ang ibang banda sa large screen sa likod…urbandub, hilera, dicta and a lot, lot more! weeee! happy i got to spend time with them again! missed ate farah though…at may sakit si kato. get well soon kato!=)

kinabukasan, gising nang maaga to prepare for the 103 party at embassy…not my kind of place…really. but i’m happy a lot of our friends came…we missed some of the usual attendees of our weekend sessions (nick! dada! joey! etc.)…kahit na may hassle na nangyari (grr…) overall i think the party was a success.=) go jess! (si jecah nga po pala ang project head fyi lang haha!) at congrats sa lahat ng nagtulungan para sa mixxology!

hung out at mint with sajes friends and pier one with jess, bodj and jules for a while…at akala ko makakauwi na ako ng 3:30, jr txts me and offers to pick me up to go to their inuman naman at discovery suites! i ended up sleeping there…at swerte namang nakalibre pa ng buffet breakfast kanina hehe=) got home at 3pm today…namiss na ako ng kama ko for sure…kelangan bumawi ng tulog!!!

i thought the past week was going to be difficult to get through…had a bit of a relapse nung 15…but He didn’t allow it to continue kasi He made something happen na nagpangiti naman sakin. so it has been a great week…a lot of people complimented the new haircut hahaha! sabi niya maganda daw…naks kiligin daw ba?! sabi naman ni rico bagay daw…sabi ni leah "hindi na talaga hahaba yang buhok mo forever!" hahaha! mukhang hindi na nga! well…as usual for me, it’s just hair.=)

got lots to be thankful for so i’m going to hear mass na. God loves me!!! sana masaya ang darating ng linggo.=)

talk about awkward moments…i was introduced to this guy i’ve been noticing for the past few months…nahiya ako…kahit nung high school never pa ako pinakilala ng ganun…and when i blush i turn super red…and he was like "ba’t ang pula mo?"…hahaha…wow…di naman ako ganun ka-obvious no?? but it was nice..it never hurts to have a new friend, right?=)

a lot of people are contributing to my happiness nowadays…ina txted me one night…and she said na she’s happy na i’m emanating good vibes and that i’m smiling more from ear to ear…i’m glad a lot of people notice the improvement…i’ve worked really hard on it…on not minding people who don’t really matter…but surprisingly i still matter to them…very flattering…(with a bit of sarcasm right there)…=)

i’m out every weekend…somehow my friends just can’t get enough of each other hahaha…i guess when you’re working already you will really miss your group in school…the crowd will never be the same…i miss sajes days…when we could just hang inside and play poker…as if may shifts dahil pag may class na yung iba, here come the others who just got out of class…and our seats will never be vacant…the girls will just talk or study…while the guys would smoke in front of egi…good times…=) but i’m happy na even if most of our friends are working already, we still find time to see each other on weekends…last saturday’s ephesus gig at saguijo had an almost perfect attendance…we missed seeing vido, mikko, arjo, andy, and some other friends but the company was nevertheless great. para kaming mga pinakawalang bata sa parking lot…crazy pics in multiply to prove that. and i got a txt from nick this morning and he was already asking if there’s any action this coming weekend…sure enough, there’s another aqua adventure at coyki’s place this friday…we’re never sober!=)

i’m supposed to be doing a report now…i ended up chatting with leah, my new friend peter, ronald, martin, and par instead…i was never a big fan of schoolwork! mukhang cramming ako nito bukas…i badly need of a massage!!! malapit na magsummer…weee! asa pang we have time to go to the beach…while everyone else is on vacation, leah and i will be rotting in our stinky summer classes…i’m not too happy about it! but maybe something good will come out of that…let’s just see what happens.=) i hope today will be a good day…

woke up today still feeling kinda woozy from drinking in greenplace after LEAP…pagkasakay ko ng kotse kagabi, tulog na agad…i ended up waking at 1230 am and had dinner alone as i watched the very sexy conan o’brien hehehe…i sent happy 214 messages to a few people, txted myles, antit, toby and cito, whom i asked to look after toby since he too went on a drinking spree. sira ang aircon sa kwarto kaya sa couch ako natulog…so imagine me trying to fit my legs sa maliit na sofa…and when i woke up, my muscles hurt from learning how to breakdance yesterday…that baby freeze stunt got leah and i bruises all over…but it was fun! hope that camera sa corridor ng 3rd floor sj didn’t record us…before i went to school i was able to talk to vido sa ym…how ironic…on valentine’s pa mismo…but it was okay…i know he sensed that i wasn’t having the best day of my life…so he sent me an email about the holy alphabet…that really made my day…after that, i realized there’s still so much to be thankful for today…i still wore black though.=) when i got to school, i saw girls carrying bouquets of flowers all around…good for them! leah and i had lunch at greenplace, studied for sales and the partcor exam…and when we went inside school, i got to see the tall guy kaya masaya na ako. then ina met up with us and she gave us cupcakes!!! thanks ins! we talked with her for a while, then it was time for salesba and at 710pm, the excruciating partcor exam. after that, home na…we have a report pa tomorrow for our most boring class…ni hindi ko man lang na-date ang sarili ko tonight because i have to read something about service marketing…how exciting! but i’m happy i got through valentine’s just fine…i realized kanina na not having a guy to spend valentine’s day with made me more thankful to God because He blessed me with my family and a great circle of friends who love me very much! anyway…tomorrow is feb 15…it would be better than today.=)

*breathe in* for the past five months i have been avoiding self-inflicted pain. case in point: i have not logged in to friendster for a long time just so i won’t be tempted to look at accounts na makakasakit lang sakin. (actually, dalawang accounts lang yun.) but sometimes, curiosity will get the best of us…so pigil na pigil akong mag-open ng account…kahit magtingin-tingin sa multiply hindi ko rin ginawa. So i was surprised last night to know that a certain someone has been checking my account pala…and got a bit upset when she saw a picture of me and him together. i’m a bit upset too. cos first, i can post any picture there and no one has the right to make me feel bad for doing so…it was a harmless pic! (he just went swimming that day, so what?) second, he’s my friend. for a very long time now. and if you’ve noticed, i’ve uploaded lots of pictures of my friends. so what difference does that make? third, i really, really do miss him. all of his friends do! and finally, if you don’t want to see things like that, better not check my account…cos i sure as hell don’t check yours. ayus? moving on…

brian and matt’s gradcore party was fun! muntik na akong hindi pumunta kahit nasa south na ako…but since three of my friends graduated yesterday, i had to join them in their celebration. and i’m really happy i went…so much support from my friends…i’m so thankful…and leah kept making funny faces kasi ginagaya nya si ano…super cute!! hahaha=) i’m glad i was able to talk to vido after a long time…after two days haha! seriously hoping the term "ex-friend" wouldn’t apply anymore. yun lang…just had to vent out.=) *breathe out*

…so after salesba i checked my phone for messages…at himalang may missed call cya at txt…so he asked kung asan ako…i replied that i was in class and i’m on my way to my 710pm class…and he calls and tells me that he’s in school…i was fighting the urge to ask why he was there kasi alam ko na naman yung sagot (fyi: the girlfriend is in grad practice)…i could have gone to class late to see him…but he didn’t really go there for his friends…so how would that be a fair exchange? question…was i mean? hindi ko rin nasagot…kaya habang binabasa ang articles ng law book, i got teary-eyed. but i had to avoid the relapse…it just feels bad to feel na hinahanap lang ako pag wala siyang kasama. i’d accept the "ex-girlfriend" no matter how pathetic it sounds…pero "ex-friend"…haaay…ang daming nagbago…tap out na muna.